NEW AWARENESS:

How I feel about my previous work compared to my current work

My “older” work, of about 4 years ago, is abstract, energetic and colorful. I can remember thinking and trying to make it “likable” and parts of it were intuitive but I feel it was more of an effort, more of a struggle to get it right, whatever that means. An exception was the Pink series which seemed to just flow out.

With some of my abstracts I remember looking at the work of many other artists, current and historical, and thinking is mine ok compared to what they were doing? Probably not. At the time I don’t think I had too much awareness of how my work related to my life. Although I loved the process and really enjoyed finding solutions for color and design it felt like there was my art and there was me. Two separate things. Amazingly I still like all of these approximately 50 abstract paintings and I have not destroyed any, as was my M.O. in previous years. Right now I’m running out of space, but the thing is — I must create!

My current Circle series is a complete 180-360 degree change — quiet and intuitive. In fact the process is mostly intuitive, meaning I wait for the whispers and then act. And I seem to be aware that I am waiting, not trying to control anything. Although the ideas keep coming I just wait for the next right move. I guess you could say I’m learning to trust myself and my inner wisdom. It’s a practicing process. More and more I feel that I am not separate from my art. My art is me.